Self-confidence is one of those all consuming effects on the body that can completely control the direction a moment can go. Either for the better of the worse. Simply put self-confidence can be defined as the feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities and judgement.
How is it that self-confidence can be rocked so easily sometimes? How can we develop unshakeable levels of self-confidence, bordering on the alien like belief in one’s self as seen in someone like Cristiano Ronaldo or Connor McGregor?
Well, maybe we don’t need to go that far; as some may believe this level of self-confidence is overbearing and arrogant/cocky.
So lets consider moments where we may have been lower on self-confidence than we may have liked; for instance looking in the mirror, wearing the clothes you’re dying to wear, taking your shirt off on the beach, speaking in front of friends about your goals, going to a social event and not drinking alcohol etc..
These moments may seem small but they are massive in the grand scheme of things when looking to make changes to lifestyle or progress towards your goals. I always say; 1% better today is the key to long term success and building the habits/behaviours necessary to maintain a healthy lifestyle for the long term.
The benefits of having self-confidence are huge;
- Better performance in the gym
- An open attitude to try new exercises or push to the next level
- Increased resilience and grit
- Better mood and mental health
- Increased happiness and sense of well being
- Better body language to attract others
- Increased likelihood of sticking to a plan
The list goes on and I think its clear to assume everything in this list will improve your quality of life, not just in the gym or towards exercise, but with work, family, friends… even pets will like you more 😉
So before we discuss how to improve self-confidence I think it is important to discuss the potential causes of low self-confidence
Causes of low self-confidence
- Unhappy childhood experiences – perhaps negative parents or coach. Or a negative association with exercise where exercise was used as a punishment e.g running laps for being late. A negative association with food is also possible, where shame may have be a driver for emotional over-eating, or potentially parents not educating on the importance of a balanced diet.
- Lack of knowledge or experience surrounding exercise or nutrition could lead to the avoidance of pursuing a healthier lifestyle
- Stress from another area of your life can be contagious and lead to a lack of confidence in all areas of life. e.g You may be a skilled athlete but financial stress could lead to a lack of stability and ultimately confidence (due to lack of focus) in other areas of life.
This is a short list of examples that can cause a decrease in self-confidence, I’m sure you can think of many more, or have experienced others that have caused a negative effect in your life. So if we can feel our confidence fading it would be wise to have a strategy in the front of our minds to combat this negative wave.
How do we build self-confidence?
- Positive self-talk; imagine you were to give advice to someone you love, what would you say? Now say the same thing to yourself.. you deserve self love and encouragement just as much as those around you.
- Don’t compare yourself to others; you are running your race and your race only. Your goals and progress is unique to you, no-one else.
- Remind yourself and appreciate your own special qualities.
- Do more for other people; starting shifting your focus onto what you can do for other people and you’ll feel more fulfilled than ever before e.g. see someone struggling with technique and you have the knowledge to help? why not ask if they would like advice? How good does it feel to give something to someone for Christmas or their birthday.. its the same thing here
- The past does not dictate the present – I believe this one is really important and applicable to most people, only you are in charge of what happens NOW.. take responsibility
- SMART goal setting; setting realistic goals for development is key. Why would we set an unrealistic target just to end up failing a losing confidence? it doesn’t make sense. Big goals are great! but we need to create small building blocks in order to build confidence to achieve these big goals.
Confidence is one of those things that needs to be constantly watered in order to grow and flourish. We cannot expect to hide away in comfort without solving problems or risking discomfort. COVID was one of those awful yet unique moments in time where we were all forced to spend time distancing ourselves from one another and our usual routine. This wreaks havoc on our social confidence and self image.
The good news is that we don’t need to allow this moment in time to linger and continue wreaking havoc on our levels of confidence. Take away some of these strategies listed and seek out challenging moments or moments that provide you with the opportunity to grow and water your confidence.
Exercise is a huge driver of confidence; mainly due to chemicals such as endorphins and serotonin being released. This is why it is so important to maintain or begin an exercise regime and keep it as a key anchor in your lifestyle. If you are currently exercising – AWESOME, KEEP GOING! otherwise if you haven’t started yet, what are you waiting for? – THERES NO TIME LIKE THE PRESENT! Not only will you feel the physical tangible benefits but the unseen but immense psychological benefits.